Someone or something is transforming Americans into birds (particularly African Grey Parrots).

A few months ago I noticed that all my dog, rabbit, mouse and gerbil friends were disappearing and birds were appearing in their place. One night, to my horror, I found my human reading The Grey Play Round Table, a Grey parrot magazine that insidiously appeared in our apartment. I soon discovered that Margaret T. Wright, the editor, lives in my building and on a floor infiltrated with parrots. Frighteningly, the Grey parrot who lives with her, Merlin Tewillager, still meows (Merlin may not be finished yet). My colleague, Sushi the dog, likens it to "Return of the Body Snatchers"----Merlin may have been a cat when she moved in.

Sushi and I began to keep a close watch on the building. Our worst suspicions were soon confirmed. I challenged Ms. Wright publicly. She is either very innocent or very bold: Ms. Wright published our letter in the Winter 1994 GPR but offered no explanation. Indeed, there was no reply at all. Then to our horror, we read the editorial— It described how a human, King Arthur, was transformed into an African Grey Parrot. It was happening to humans too, and had been happening for a very long time. Why has this information been withheld? Who’ll be left to feed us, if all other animals and humans are transformed into birds?

Sincerely,

Daisy, the Cat President
Sushi, the Dog Senior Vice President
Merick, the Ferret Field Secretary

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This letter was published in the Summer 1995 issue of The Grey Play Round Table Magazine, and soon thereafter, Maggie, Merle and Pea moved to live deep in the country. Could there be some correlation? What’s going on... they now have LOTS of outdoor birds living around their house.